Whatever happened to Dave Benson-Phillips?

Recently I have become overly interested in the opinions and lifestyle of 90's kids TV 'presenter', Dave Benson-Phillips. I feel like a young, digital, David Attenborough; Tracking a rare beast and documenting it's movements.

I put his title of presenter in inverted commas as he didn't so much present 'Get your own back' as force the show through your eye and ear holes like brightly coloured plasticine with his 'voice fists'.

For those who do not remember the assault on the senses that is DBP (as he will be referred to for the rest of this article), here is a picture:

*Don't get too close, he can smell fear.

Now, a little while back, maybe 6 months ago, I decided that DBP would be a good person to follow on the social networks and by Boy George's ghost, I was not disappointed...

I started to receive so many updates from Dave about his rates and services that I got in touch with him via the provided email. Enter Dave's agent, 'Robin'. Whilst we are on the subject, I am not entirely convinced that DBP's agent is even a real person.

*Incidentally, I recently had an email conversation with 'The masked magician' from 'Magic's greatest secrets revealed' off of the nineties, how is that for a name drop. CLANG! 

Taken from a document sent to me by 'Robin', here is a short list of things that DBP will do for in in exchange for cold, hard, cash or Paypal exchanges. (In order of how sad they made me feel):

1. Put on a live version of get your own back for you and friends. (Cheaper you would think. Worryingly so.)
2. DJ at your house party. (Friend saw this once, did the whole gig in a Star Trek uniform after arriving through a Stargate to the theme to Jurassic Park.)
3. Have a chat with you on Skype (and teach you sign language if you like, also does song requests)
4. Rent you a bouncy castle.
5. Help you move house.

There are many many more things that DBP will do for money and very few he wont. This initially depressed me to a point where I considered unfollowing but I have grown to admire Dave's work ethic and his level of commitment to his art. Because you know what, it is art. Sort of.

His twitter profile is exceptional with updates tending to showcase Dave as a man who can see the good in any situation but does also often swing alarmingly between the mundane, the exuberant and the surprisingly dark.

Below you can find some of my favourite tweets from DBP:

It Had to Happen At Some Point... Today my son saw Lenny Henry on the Premier Inn advert. He pointed at the telly and said 'DADDY'!
— Dave Benson Phillips (@DaveBensonPhill) October 16, 2012

Being mistaken for Lenny Henry and Ainsley Harriett appears to be a daily occurrence but you have to feel for the man when it is by his own infant son. God help him when the kid is old enough to buy instant cous-cous.

Tell me... Is 'lol' a good thing or a bad thing?
— Dave Benson Phillips (@DaveBensonPhill) October 10, 2012

This is a great example of the bizarrely naive side of DBP which is also showcased in the following facebook update:

The person who sent me the link to the film, 'Two Girls, One Cup' as a way helping me to get to sleep, has clearly got a warped mind... IT'S SICK (and not in a good way)!!

It is like despite his massive internet presence, the culture has completely passed him by. Like an Amish farmer happily strumming away on an electric guitar with no idea he could plug it in.

Since this tweet mentioned sleep, we move onto some of Dave's darker tweets:

Without receiving too many one-liners, I'm looking for effective ways to combat Insomnia, a thing I have been plagued with most of my life.
— Dave Benson Phillips (@DaveBensonPhill) September 28, 2012

I feel this tweet also deals with the beginning of the death of Dave's innocence, by this point he knows full well that however serious a request is, he is going to get an influx of ironic twenty something's flood his account with joke suggestions, which is evident in this next update.

I've just found a folder of To-Do lists from 2009-2011, with nothing ticked off. The false rumours about. megot to me more than I thought.
— Dave Benson Phillips (@DaveBensonPhill) September 2, 2012

Now, for those who don't know, the rumours that Dave is referring to are the following: that he died in a car crash or had a complete mental breakdown. Two separate viral online rumours in a short space of time that actually destroyed his career for several years. A serious topic, handled by one of his fans with this response:

@davebensonphill Dave did you drive to Dundee in your bare feet with a load of Toblerone?
— Philip (@Sponge_Avengers) September 2, 2012

I am almost certain that this is not the rumour he meant, Phillip.

And finally, something entirely mundane which I think sums up most of the updates to be found, showing that deep down, all DBP really cares about is everybody having a lovely time.

The Olympics is here! I can't believe it!! I just hope it all goes brilliantly.
— Dave Benson Phillips (@DaveBensonPhill) July 27, 2012

I am going to end this article with a plea to all the people on Twitter and Facebook, which every day, without fail, ask Dave why he isn't on TV any more. Please stop.

Look, he would like to be on TV, obviously, it just isn't really working out that way at the moment.

If you need to see him on a screen, Paypal him 40 quid and he will sing you Chelsea dagger by the fratellis on Skype.

Give the man a break.

(Expect further updates on DBP in the future)