Rhys reviews chys #1 - Roquefort

In this series of posts I will be reviewing various cheeses and stacking up the positives and negatives against the strong, proud, English cheddar.

Ding ding, round one in the epic head to head knock out bout of dairy products lining up to take the belt from the incumbent RTC* champion: Strong Cheddar.

*Really tasty cheese

Now I have exhausted my meagre boxing terminology it is time to introduce this weeks cheese and let the contender weigh in (there we go, I knew I had another one, maybe I will take up boxing punditry):

French Roquefort, 100g,  £1.50,  ASDA

ASDA description: "Irresistibly tangy, fabulous crumbled onto warm crusty bread"

This is a picture of some cheese on a lovely little plate.

First taste:

I lifted a small yet adequate cube of the cheese (making sure to include a little blue, a little white) into what can only be described as my mouth hole and was pleasantly surprised.

Look, I am not sheep racist but this cheese is made of sheep juice and that concerned me.

It needn't have been as my taste-buds were met with a crumbly, tart, blue, with a cheeky creamy edge, reminiscent of a Stilton smushed together with a halloumi.

Stilloumi.

A strong start for the French contender.

Day two:

"Why does my fridge smell like a farm? It couldn't possibly be that delicious cheese I ate yesterday, let me hock off a chunk and sling up my food chute."

Mother of god, what happened?

In the 24 hours I have owned this cheese, it has evolved into something all the more sinister. It now has all the flavour of a farm. The whole farm.

It is like licking a sheep and then trying to get rid of the taste using the beasts straw bedding as a rudimentary tongue cleaner.

Each mouthful explodes like a grenade specifically designed to inform the victim that this is in fact made of sheep batter.

Would be ideal for:

• Old people with memory issues who want to remember the family farm.
• People with severely damaged taste nodules (Nodules? What? I am no scientist)
• Hurling across the channel with a trebuchet/ballista.

Verdict:

Like being sucker punched in the tongue by an unwashed sheep farmer.

Is it better than a strong cheddar?:

No.